This morning, I was assigned to review a poorly-converting email written by a business associate.
I thought it would be an excellent case study and decided to share it with you.
The goal of the email is to invite prospects to register for a Forex coaching program organized by a reputable trading firm. The problem? NOT A SINGLE SOUL signed up, even though the email was successfully delivered and opened by a total of 16,800 people in the mailing list.
Here’s what the email said:
Have you ever considered a career as a private trader?
Did you know many private Foreign Exchange traders take home £100k to £2m per annum, with some traders starting with less than £10k in their trading accounts?
ACME is one of the world’s Largest Foreign Exchange Company and is running some completely free workshops to show you how you can get started, regardless as to whether you choose to trade full time or part-time as a positive addition to your income.
Click here for more info.
What do think is wrong with the email? Why do you think it’s converting poorly?
While the copy can dramatically be improved (more of which is discussed in the eBook, QuickStart Copywriter, in Section 8: Examples of Sales Writing that Work and Section 13: How to Craft Persuasive Body Copy), the biggest problem here is that there is no real urgency or call to action. In my professional opinion, “Click here for more info” is not compelling enough for me to click the link.
I would tell my readers a little more about the benefits they will discover when they click the link or say something like “Confirm your seat now and get a 50-page report revealing insider secrets from the world’s highest paid Forex traders!” or some other offer that will entice people to click on the link.
Remember, the better your call to action, the higher your chances of getting your links opened by your readers – And making a sale!
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