How to Write Better Emails: Avoid Unnecessary, Old-Fashioned Phrases!

March 4, 2010

Business language has changed. But unfortunately, not many people realize that!

Take a look at this email I received a few days ago:

Dear Sir,

Enclosed herewith is the letter as per your request.

Please revert back to us if you may need any further information to support the membership application.  We will do our best to assist.

Cheers

If the tone of the email sounds familiar, that’s because everyone else is using it! Open up your inbox and I guarantee you’ll find emails that are riddled with stuffy, centuries-old expressions like “I am pleased”, “As per your request” and “Enclosed herewith”, among others. Unnecessary, long-winded phrases such as those dilute the meaning behind your messages and lead to confusion.

So if I were to re-write the above email in the style and tone of today’s writing, I’d say:

Hi Marc!

Here’s the letter you requested.

If you need more information to support the membership application, please me know.

I’ll do my best to help.

Cheers

See the difference?

On print, the word count of the email is now shorter and the messages are easier to read. When read out loud, the tone of the email sounds more natural and relaxed. So if you want to capture the interest of your readers – some of whom I believe could be important business clients – you have to keep your emails concise, focused and personal. It also leaves a better impression on your readers!


Supercharge your sales writing skills in 7 days! Click here to get started!

Find this blog post helpful? Buy me coffee or send me a tip!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Advertisements